not mine, credit to owner

source : tumblr

Hi, today, I'll be talking about the news that break yesterday. I believe that most of k-pop fans would know about this. Yes. I'm talking about the death of Jonghyun of SHINee. I first know about this when I saw my friend's IG story, which she screen cap from an account stating that Jonghyun was found dead. Honestly, I just thought that it was one of the sick jokes from the antis. So I google up.And boom. I was wrong. He is gone. Forever.

I'm sad. Very. SHINee was like one of the earliest group that I know. I grew attach with them when I watch Hello Baby programme. And I really like Jonghyun. I fall in love with his voice. I'm sad that he is gone. Up until this point, I couldn't believe it. And the fact that he was the one who ended his life, make it harder to let him go. Yes, I'm not a SHAWOL ( SHINee fandom ) but I'm sad.

I'm writing this message to remind you all that if you're hurting, don't be alone, seek for help, if you can't tell people, then you write. Do everything to let it out. Don't ever keep it inside you. You will hurt more. I know, it is not easy, but fight. If you think that nobody cares, you are wrong. Look for people that genuinely cares. There are a lot of them. If you couldn't find the right person, go back to your God, Allah, Jesus, or other God that you believe in. Told them. Pray to them. Never ever gave up. You will find your way, slowly but surely.

Just because they are all happy and smiling, doesn't mean that they have zero problem. All of us have problems. It is either you bear it alone, or you share it. I do know that telling people will not solve them, that it might get it worst. But, be strong. You can do it.

To all people who are wondering why I write about this and thinking that I'm not in the right position to tell you this and that, I want to write. Maybe, Jonghyun is no one for me and I'm no one for him. Maybe you are no one for me and I'm no one for you, but I want to be that person that tell you that there are people who still cares. Stay strong. Himnae.

To all my muslim brothers and sisters, you might say, "He is no Islam, why should you care so much"
or "You should care more about our brothers and sisters in Palestine or Syria that died everyday". I won't argue much. But I wanted to say my opinion, our brothers and sisters in Palestine, Syria, Iran, it is not that we, kpopers, did not care about them. We do care. They are hurting, more that all of us. Physically and mentally drain. I do know. But, one thing for sure, they did not chose to get hurt. It is not their choice. But, here, we are talking about suicide. A choice of theirs. A cause that we should not taken lightly. Have we ever think that one smiley person can choose to end their life ? have we ? We don't. Why ? Because we never try to understand them. We never tried to look what inside their mind and heart.

And, when I heard about this news, I think that I have fail. Fail as a muslim. I feel like I have fail to spread Islam. I'm sorry if this offended anyone, but this is my personal thought. When I get into K-pop, one of my wish is to let them know about the beauty of Islam. And when this happen, I think that I have fail to spread Islam. This is the reason why I'm so sad.

So, to all of you who happen to read this, I hope, this can be an eye opener. I hope that we will try our best to understand people. Try to put ourselves in their shoes. If you're hurting, seek for help. It is not your fault to get hurt. And for the people who have someone reach out for, don't let them down. We never know what inside their mind. Be kind, be helpful. Let's change, for a better world.

And, last, farewell, Kim Jonghyun.

credit to owner

This is a stress week for me. (sigh) Final is in 2 weeks and yet I haven't finish with assignments. ANd to keep up with people's bullshit is hard already.

Stay strong, dear self.

credit to rightful owner

Release : 19 May 2017
Distribution : Warner Bros. Picture
Starring :  Amandla Stenberg and Nick Robinson 

Plot : A story of a 17-years old girl, Maddy (Amandla Stenberg) who has never go out of her house as long as her life because of her illness. That was until Olly (Nick Robinson), her new neighbour came into her life and wants to help her. Genre : Romance,Drama

Nick sho handsome right

she's really pretty

!!! SPOILER ALERT !!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED  

there's few steps before this cake is dead

i couldn't get over from his handsomeness(?)

this is the first time Olly and Maddy texting and this is the first imagination of Maddy

this is when Maddy avoid to talk to Olly, and this also her imagination

still Maddy imagination.

Maddy finally go to beach !

She found out T_T

All right, bismillah and assalamualaikum everyone. Harini punya cerita tak pendek, tak panjang. Firstly, masa apply UPU dulu aku punya gigih letak accounting courses as main ( top 5 semua accounting yang different universities )  tapi bukan rezeki aku, tak dapat. Serious sedih gila. It was like, aku dah let go medical field sebab tak yakin untuk bawak chemistry and bila second choice pun ditolak memang hampa la cerita dia. Aku pun check la dapat what course and which univ en. Tengok tengok dapat UniSZA under Diploma of International Trade. Itu pun tak reti lagi nak bersyukur ( bukan tak bersyukur tapi nak usaha lagi )

Aku ingat lagi, masa mula-mula daftar kat bahagian fakulti lepas aku bagi borang apa semua aku terus tanya, "Kalau nak tukar kos macam mana ya ?". Akak (?) yang jaga kaunter tu tercengang kejap. Lepas tu dia kata after sem 1 baru boleh tukar. Masa tu dalam hati aku dah fikir macam-macam. Iyalah dalam tempoh nak lepas sem 1 tu bukannya sekejap. Takkan aku taknak cari kawan, subjek yang nak belajar lagi apa semua. Masa tu dah doubt keputusan nak tukar kos.

Dan untuk seketika aku lupakan pasal hal nak tukar kos apa semua. And now, I'm in my 2nd semester and this is the first week. Dari mula jejak kaki kat UniSZA ni pagi Sabtu hari dah duk pikir, nak tukar ke taknak. Aku confius yang teramat. Aku ada geng dalam InTrade yang nak tukar kos jugak so hari hari tanya dia, nak tukar ke tak. Aku mintak nasihat kawan-kawan semua. Depa semua kata buat istikarah, bukak tafsir Quran tengok ayat first yang kita baca mana tahu ada petunjuk. So, start Isnin, aku istikarah. Mula-mula macam takde petunjuk apa pun. Aku pun bukak tafsir, aku tengok surah, kena surah Al-A'raf kalau tak salah. Bila aku tengok ayat first, nak gugur jantung. Ayat yang aku baca berkaitan dengan manusia diciptakan berpasangan. Terus tutup. So, aku teruskan istikarah dan sampai lah harini, Rabu, aku bangun ja subuh, aku dah tahu apa yang aku nak. Dan Insya-Allah itu yang terbaik untuk aku.

Pergi kelas dengan senyuman. Aku tau Allah akan tolong jugak. Walaupun masa mula-mula istikarah tu minda dan hati cakap benda yang berbeza, akhirnya aku dapat jawapan yang aku nak dan keputusan aku muktamad, aku takkan tukar kos. Mohon doakan perjalanan hidup aku berjalan lancar =)


-thes-

**lowercase intended

okay, Assalamualaikum and good evening ?
first, post ni just some of rambling entah apa benda but better baca ( teman daku plis  *muka comel*). sejujurnya, ini bukan lah pengalaman pertama mempunyai blog apatah lagi menulis post. okay, whatever. cerita nya pendek je. aku just nak kata yang dulu aku pernah ada blog under name selenophile jugak and blog url yang diberi nama ayasuraya. tapi url tu banyak kali bertukar and post post dalam tu semua banyak gilossss and aku selalu delete. hahahaha macam tak de function. okey mengarut. okey tu je nak cakap ><

stay tuned !
thes